Third Times the Charm

Sabotage:  sab-o-tage

1.         an underhand interference with production, work, etc.

2.         an undermining of a cause

3.         to injure or attack by sabotage

Synonyms

-disable, vandalize, cripple                           

Based on the definition listed above, I give you "Sabotagers."

Lurking in places where’d you’d least expect, said persons thrive on our personal failures to make themselves feel better.  Know any personally?  I do.
Yes, this might sound uber dramatic and totally self exaggerated, but I believe it to be true. 

Before I make the following statement let me throw a disclaimer out there. 

Disclaimer:

Yes, I am aware that I and only I am at fault for my yo-yoing weight issues. 

That said, it is not helpful when you’re on the straight and narrow following a weight loss program to a “T” only to be bamboozled with the obligatory “office Birthday Cake!” 

Me politely (and unconvincingly surprised): “Oh, what a surprise, thank you everyone…just a small piece for me please.” 

Followed by…“Oh come on! It’s YOUR birthday you have to have the biggest piece!” 

Now, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful and frankly this wouldn’t be a big deal but we seem to be celebrating something with cake for what feels like every other week at the office as of late- and frankly, it’s politically incorrect not to partake! 

Oh, and did I forget to mention, I’m not talking about a simple grocery store sheet cake people?  No offense grocery store cake! I do love your sugary sweet icing, but my co-workers don’t mess around!  These people are vulchers patiently waiting for any and all colleague’s big days to pop up circling birthdays on calendars well in advance with a red magic marker so as not to miss the sweet delectable goodness. 

The witching hour strikes at 3pm and insanity ensues.  In the midst of the daily grind of  office monotony come 3pm who can resist? 

We’re talking layer upon layer of the most moist yummy in your tummy chocolate cake filled with a thick rich cannoli cream mixed with chocolate chips -and look, this dessert comes two fold.  It’s topped with Cannoli! 

Hello?!  How could a person possibly pass this up? 

In my case, it didn’t end there. 

Later that very same night while out to dinner with the Keepers Aunt and Uncle we feasted on the muy deliciouso culinary delights of a Colombian hot spot downtown.  Stuffed with some mouth-watering Churrasco Hanger steak and combined with enough fruity sangria to send me into premature menopausal hot flashes, I passed on ordering dessert.  One slice of cake a day fills my quota. 

Shocked and dismayed by my decision, the Keepers Uncle urgently uttered... “I’ll be right back…have to use the ahhh…’bathroom’. “    Slick.

A few moments pass and before I know it, I’m swarmed by a group of Hot Latino men serenading me with birthday wishes while holding…

...you guessed it…another piece of cake. 

This time…a lemony delight topped with a light whipped cream and filled with  peaches.  Different, and just OK, not great, but let’s face it, cake is cake people.  Put it in front of me and I’m bound to have a spoonful or two.  (Or three, or four.)

Though I’d anticipated immediate embarrassment from the sudden PDA, I actually sort of enjoyed being in the spotlight for a moment.  Who knew?

Fast-forward à Two weeks later. 

You’d think we’d be done with this devilish dessert debacle at this point…not!  

This time it I had no one to blame but myself! 

Suffice to say come 33, I should probably be finished celebrating my birthday with an annual family dinner celebration yes?  No! 

In my big fat Italian family, breaking this tradition would be like throwing a statue of the Blessed Madonna on the floor shattering her into tiny little pieces. 

That said, for what would now be the 3^rd birthday celebration of the year, both the Keeper’s and my extended fam packed up our cars and made our way to my parents home for some dinner and small talk. 

Combined with a little (or a lot) of Merlot, the day was filled with the usual suspect faves. 

Family, food and…

Wait for it….



RED VELVET CAKE!! 

(with CREAM CHEESE FROSTING!!)


For this I make no excuses.  You see, I’d mildly suggested with a firm hand that the Keeper handle the cake ordering for this occasion!  Hey, if I’m gonna consume birthday cake for a third time, I might as well enjoy it!
-and man alive was it good!

Diving right in full force I thought to myself, clearly you can have your cake AND eat it too!    (I mean T-W-O not too…or  Three, and maybe next year Four?!)  Now that's just crazy talk!

At the end of the day I say this to the sabotagers...

Shut your pie-holes!

Life’s short.  Eat cake. 

~The Keeper’s Wife

Eat, Play, Sleep – Repeat

Life with a pup is much like life with a toddler.  (mind you I don’t know this first hand as the Keeper and I have not spawned.  Yet.) 

In case you’re unaware October is National Adopt a Shelter Dog Month. 

According to the ASPCA, "There are nearly 10 million animals entering local shelters across the country each year.  The Adopt a Shelter Dog Month helps focus attention on the pet population problem we face in this country." 

Ten Million Animals a year?!  Madness...moreover, Sad.  (with a capital "S")  

That said, adoptive pet owners all over the world - I salute you!

Both the Keeper and I jumped on the Canine bandwagon in early March and have been hanging on for dear life ever since. 

While perusing Petfinder.com I came across the below pic: 

Really?!  It was just TOO much, how could we resist?

The paragraph under the photo read something like:

6 week old Cairn Terrier/Maltese Mix

Please email Guardian Angels Animal Rescue to begin the application process. 

Like a Mama Bear taking to her cub I immediately knew that I was meant to be this Puppy’s Parent.  One look from the Keeper and he was on board as well. 

With great thought and contemplation, I began fill out the LONG application form.  The first few questions covered the basics. 

Name, Address, Phone Number, Description of Home etc. 

I’d been forewarned by a few of my Pet-owner cronies that there was a good chance the rescue group would want to do an “in home” visit to make sure that our apartment was pet-friendly.  Really?! 

(but when you think about it, there are a lot of crazies out there so it sort of makes sense!) 

After answering the tougher questions and adding our references I hit the “send” button -poof, like magic off our hopes and dreams went flying into cyberspace. 

Tick-Tock

Tick-Tock

Tick-Tock

We waited for what seemed like FOREVER (really only a few days) with bated breath for a response but to no avail. 

Was he gone? 

Were we not good enough? 

Did he go to another family?  

I became obsessed with calling the rescue to make sure that they’d received our application.  A week later, I finally reached "Jenni", (with an I) the rescues "manager." 

Poor Jenni, a stay at home Mother of three under the age of 5 runs Guardian Angel Animal Rescue with little help. 

Once on the phone we were "IN", or so I thought. 
I turned up the charm and tried not to sound too much like a looney tune.  Mind you I’d been harassing poor Jenni for a week or so calling her phone and hanging up like a schoolgirl with a crush never once leaving a message! 

What the heck was wrong with me?  (I’d forgotten that most people have Caller ID so I’m sure that I must have looked like a total wack-ado!) 

Jenni sensed my excitement and was gracious enough to ignore my insane obsessive compulsive behavior. 
She explained that yes, the Rescue had in fact received our application and that since Guardian Angles was practically run as a one man band -she would personally be handling our review going forward.  "I will get back to you within the next few days." said Jenni.  Her tone implied (in the nicest way possible)  that I should shut my trap and stop harassing her if I wanted this dog! (but that could just be my interpretation.)
She also took this opportunity to forewarn me that there were FOUR other couples interested in our pup.  Good Lord!  (but can you blame them? He was so darn cute!) 

Great, more waiting, and to top it off…more angst knowing that so many people were in line for my baby boy!  (yes I said baby boy…I am his ma’ma after all.) 

You’ve got mail!!…a few days later the stork left a message in my Inbox when I received the below:

Hello,

   

    Thank you for your application.  It was pre approved for the puppy.  The baby is up to date with shots, de wormed and vet checked. The adoption fee is $395 which includes the above as well as a referral for low cost spay/neutering.  Please give us a call if you  would like to schedule an appointment/home visit.

Best,

jeni

With a sigh of relief I quickly called the Keeper to report the good news. 

Overjoyed we made the trek across the George Washington Bridge to pick up our little man.   I can’t say it any better than to state the following:

Life has not been the same since.

5 doggie beds, a pair of Kenneth Cole boots, countless socks and one entire three seater couch later our baby boy is quite the chewer.  My once spotless home is no longer my own. 

(That’s the Keeper’s Side of the bed- hehe J )

There’s a new King in our castle and his name is Leroy.

-and frankly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

If you’ve got the means to care for and have the time for a loveable furry best friend, please go to Petfinder.com to adopt a pup. 

I promise you won’t regret it! 

~The Keeper’s Wife
  

In Honor of “Cheeky”

June 21st 1999 - October 5th 2010

Doing what he did best - basking in the sun :)

Cheeky and his Mom - Andrea

The world lost Cheeky two days ago while I was putting this post together.  I thought it only fitting that we dedicate it to him. 
Both Cheeky and his Ma’ma Andrea were and are great supporters of PAWS. 

PAWS - Pet Animal Welfare Society
-is an amazing organization, and is in need of all the support that you can give!

PAWS rescues animals from ‘kill shelters’ and finds furever homes for them.  If they can’t find a home for an animal in their care for some reason, he/she lives out the rest of their life in the care of PAWS where they get lots of love, and protection from the world that they came from…

That said, open up your hearts and your wallets people! 
Please send a donation in honor of Cheeky. 

http://www.pawsct.org/how.php

We love you Cheeky - you will be missed!

You Make Me Sick All Over Again

I woke up out of a dead sleep with horrible knot in my stomach.  Not knowing what to do, I sat up.  Nope it wasn’t a knot, it was more of a pain…in fact it might have been the most horrific pain I’ve ever experienced.  The "pain" quickly turned into nausea.  (No, I hadn’t eaten French Toast.)

In fit of panic, I ripped myself out of bed and ran to the bathroom where moments later  I.....well… “lost it” if you know what I mean. 

Now before all of you get your hopes up, there is Definitely not a bun in the oven!  (notice the capital D there?! I failed that test, I promise I'll study harder when the time is right *wink wink*)  In fact, it was just the opposite.  Mother Nature had decided to curse my big Anniversary Date night with a very rocky trip on the crimson waves.  Ugh!  (In case I forgot to mention, The Keeper remembered that the 1st Anniversary should be celebrated with Paper, and got us two 'Paper' tickets to see American Idiot on Broadway!  We're big Green Day fans...what a great hubs!)

Like a good Catholic girl I knelt down on the bathroom floor pleading with God to please let the pain subside so that I could enjoy this night.  “Please Lord, we’ve had a really tough year. We literally NEED this night to go well.”  (You see, the Keeper has lost his faith as of late.  I really didn’t want to have to tell him that wouldn’t be able to make it into the city for the show. )  It took Him between approximately 20 and 25 minutes, but He did answer.  With the flip of a switch, the pain subsided.  Phew!  I was good to go. 

The day came as went as we made our way into NYC.  To kill time before we headed over to the theatre we stopped into Planet Hollywood for a quick cocktail.  (not very chic, but a drink is a drink!)  As we made our way through the crowd of tourists we spotted the last table at the bar when out of nowhere a pushy British couple stole our spot right out from under us. 

Keeper, “Did that just happen?”.

Me, “Yes, yes it did.”  (Glass half empty as usual) “That’s us. That’s our life.  That’s why that just happened.”

Sensing some disgruntled customers the manager made his way over to us and said “I’m sorry it’s first come first serve”. 

Under his breath the Keeper uttered “We were first come!”  The manager must have heard and quickly replied, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize, let me seat you at this table for 2..”  “Karma” said the Keeper with a grin on his face. 

We fished out drinks and rocked out to some of music that the Planet Hollywood DJ was spinning.  I lost myself in the moment openly dancing at the table.  (I love those moments when you’re having so much fun that you just don’t care what other people think.) 

We left Planet Hollywood and found our way to the St. James Theatre. 

St. James Theatre

After purchasing a $7.00 box of Milk Duds and Twizzlers we settled into our seats. 
“Ugh, they’re under an overhang, the upper portion of the set is a bit obstructed.” Grunted the Keeper.  “Not really”.  I responded, “I doubt much will happen up there, it’s not Circ Du Sole”.  I sat people watching contemplating whether or not I wanted to grab a Diet Coke before the lights went down.  I turned to my left to assess the crowd and make my way out of the aisle when out of the corner of his eye, The Keeper spotted something trey cool!  Literally!  The drummer from Green Day Tre Cool walked right past us and sat maybe 15 or so rows ahead of us.  Wow!  I thought to myself, I wonder what he’s doing here.  The Keeper says, “He must be in town.  This must be cool for him to come see his show when he’s in town.”  I agreed.  As audience members cat called “Tre…I love you man!”  The lights went down. 

“Attention audience members, would you please be so kind as to turn off your cell phones.  Oh, and by the way...playing the part of Jimmy tonight will be Billy Joe”.  Holy Crap Billy Joe Armstrong?!!  The audience erupted.  The Keeper and I hugged and like the true sap that I am I immediately teared up.  I thought how cool is this? 

When recapping this story for my Mother, I said, “Ma, Seeing Billy Joe perform in American Idiot is like seeing Billy Joel perform in Moving Out!” He’s the LEAD SINGER of Green Day. 

Mom, “That is SO cool…I’m so excited for you.”

Me, “Ma, you know that I said we saw Billy JOE not Billy JOEL right?” 

Mom, “Nooooo you didn’t.  YOU SAID BILLY JOEL.  Oh, well that’s still exciting I guess.  For you at least.” 
What-the?  Who’s on first?  (This is my life.)



Billy Joel




Billy JOE! 
Now there-in lies the confusion, they're practically twins! 



Now that my belly was feeling a bit better, we ended the evening in our style celebrating and recapping the night over Gourmet Burgers and Beer at a chic bar and grill called Rare.

My Selection
- A Cheddar Cheese Burger - they forgot the Applewood Bacon (but brought it later)
Check out those Waffle Fries So spicy and delish-served with a Chipotle Aioli YUMMMY!

 The Keepers selection
- A Turkey Burger with Cheddar Cheese topped with a Fried Egg. 
Served with Sweet Potato Fries and a Honey Maple Dipping Sauce.

Rare = Y -U-M!

What an amazing night, maybe our luck is turning around. 

Why didn’t I anticipate that this day would be a great right from the get? 

I mean, it did start with throwing up after all! 

Ceeeelebrate Good Times-COME ON!

For more than the annual Halloween and Thanksgiving celebrations, Autumn is quickly becoming THE most celebrated season in both the Keepers and my life!  At least I think so!

Other wives might shake their fingers my way in haste chastising me for getting married only 4 days after my birthday forever risking the possibility of the dreaded “combo gift”.  My poor Father has been struck by this lightening blot on more than a few occasions celebrating his birthday a mere 2 days after Christmas on December 27th. Ugh! – but I digress….

Before deciding on the date of the “Big Day”, the Keeper was well forewarned by both myself and his Aunt.  Tag Teaming to get our point across we made sure that he understood, if we chose 10/4 as our wedding date, my birthday and anniversary gifts should remain separate!  Choosing “Ten Four” was also good for another reason, I mean, it’s kitchy and easy to remember right?!  Ten Four, Rodger that!  (Sorry Keeper with a date like that there’s really no excuse to forget our anniversary- EVER!)  

So far so good, my Birthday celebrations kicked off without a hitch - one day to go until our one year anniversary.  I’ll be sure to post news on celebrations and details on my loot, um uh I mean presents next week! 

In the meantime, I’ve been feeling dreamy lately.  I pulled out some old photos from our courting days and came upon a hard copy of an old email that I’d sent out a few days after our engagement recapping our story. 

What a special time that was.  That said, I hope you’ll take a walk down memory lane with me…..

You make me Sick Part One

The Keeper and I met in late Spring 2007 during allergy season.
Something must have caught his eye as I coughed my way into the Dr’s office! (mind you, the Dr. = Uncle/Best Man/BFF) That, or my file made for some interesting reading material.

Either way, something sparked! -A push and a nudge from the Dr’s yenta Nurse, and the rest is history.

Coming off of a crazy work month, I was pretty grouchy. Per The Keeper’s suggestion….I deserved some pampering, and I fully agreed! So, to the Salon for a massage I went. Ahhh relaxation, surely this would put me in a better mood!
As I left the Salon, I called the Keeper to gloat.

Me: “ Hi Sweetheart…how’s it goin?”

Keeper replies: “I feel sick…”

Me: “Really honey?”

Keeper: “I think it was the almond extract that you used in the French Toast this morning.”

Me: (This was the 4th time that the Keeper had mentioned the dreaded French toast.  Mind you, not to toot my own horn, but I am pretty accomplished in the kitchen!  That French Toast was freaking delicious.  If not for self control/risk of being late for my massage appointment, I might have eaten both his plate and mine!) “Uhhhhh…ok….I've got it…you didn't like the French toast.”

The Keeper abruptly responds: “Can I just talk to you when you get back to the apartment?”

Me: “Uh…ok.”

And just like that he hung up.

I thought to myself, wow, I wonder why he’s being so short with me today? I can’t believe he didn’t want to hear all about my fantastic self indulging experience. Then I thought, maybe I shouldn’t rub it in…I did practically kill him with my French toast this morning?!? 

When I arrive at home, the Keeper is sitting on the couch watching TV, (my breakfast dishes are washed, bed made & living room straightened up). How did I not find this strange? I say thank you for cleaning the apartment then join him on the couch.

As I begin to tell him about my experience, I realize that he is not really paying attention to what I’m saying. With this, I decide to call the Parental Units. Surely my Mother will "wow" over me and at least PRETEND to be excited for my self indulgence. No answer? Hmmm...I say out loud…“I wonder why my Mom isn’t answering her cell phone…doesn’t she know I could be getting engaged right now!” I laugh. (at this point in our relationship, both the Keeper and I are fully aware that we will be wed ‘one day’ so a joke like this is not taboo.) 

The Keepers heart beats hard as he retorts in a snarky tone, “Do you know that you talk about getting married all the time? You know you’ve really been bringing it up a lot lately.”
--The count reaches 2-0 with as he throws a curve ball by picking a fight about marriage. A still nauseous Keeper suggests we “Go to dinner early” he’s hungry?!?!

Throughout dinner he’s not really eating. He explains, “I’m full…I’m not feeling right from breakfast”. (At this point I’m thinking…please stop insulting my cooking. That French toast was delicious!)

Me: “ Uh…ok…we can go home then.”

As we head back to the apartment, I’m complaining about how physically exhausted I am from my strenuous day at the salon.
I no sooner walk into the living room and grab for the remote when The Keeper barks in a stern voice, “Sit down on the couch and keep your eyes forward.”

What?  Uhhh OK General! “You’ve been working so hard lately, I got you a present while you were gone.” He hands me a beautifully wrapped box with a card. At first glance I think to myself…. “There is no way he wrapped this!” The box is heavy…I think…what can this be?
I slowly open the paper so as not to destroy it.
Inside the box I see a beautiful silver frame with a photo. The picture is of a green sign with gold lettering on it that reads… “SAY YES!”

A few moments pass, some tears are shed, & in true self fashion without skipping a beat, I head straight to the bathroom & throw up!
(But not before I "Said Yes!")  

How far we’ve come in such a brief amount of time. 

Happy Anniversary Keeper. 

I love you.

~The Keepers Wife.